Wednesday, March 31, 2010

God, physics and the Gender Wars.

I'm not learning anything in sociology. Not a thing. And that sucks because it's such a great subject and I could've learnt so much. I don't know who to blame. Myself or the damn teacher who lets us off every other class. Not that I didn't enjoy that AT FIRST. But really, how many free classes in a year do you need people?

I'm not blaming my teacher (not so much anyway), he's a great guy. It's just..he has no zest for the earnestness. And try as hard as he might, (and really it's not that hard) he's not getting through to us. It's just the mundane old batain, then the 'lets answer the past-paper questions'. And to be honest I'm not a big fan of most kids in my socio class. They aren't there to learn, to explore, to widen their unbelievably-narrow-horizons. They're just there because they heard socio is an easy A.

I was so looking forward to learning in dept about Marx and his theories, Communism, Feminism, The Gender Wars, Post Modernism. All of it. Sure, I want an A too, but before that I really want to know my stuff. To be able to talk about A level Sociology and not just say I took it. But really That's been an epic fail.

I feel stupid.

If all teacher's were like my Law teacher school would have been a much more enjoyable place. Not that it already isn't. But she's just so COOL. And she seems to like what she teaches which I'm sure, is one of the reasons all the students enjoy her classes so much.

I think Sociology is my new Physics.

On the bright side, History is my new bilology. Which means I like it, but still suck at it. :)

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Mocks scare me.

They really do. I haven't felt this stupid since I was at Jaffar. With their unbelievable ability to squeeze the last bit of life and originality out of you. God, I hate the place.

But really, who's idea was it to call these exams 'MOCKS'? How're you supposed to take seriously a bunch of exams called mocks?

"Mommy The MOCKS are MOCKING me again" hahaha

Okay that was stupid.

In class everyday I learn how I haven't learnt much (or learnt and forgotten) this whole year. There's history, which is a nightmare. I love it, because I really learn in it. But then I remember how I'm going to fail in my exam, and that sucks. Although my teacher does keep stressing on how grades aren't important. It's development that matters. And apparently, I'm developing. But I'm not there yet. =/

Something I'm definitely not developing in; sociology.

I feel kay my life is totally centered around school and that again makes me feel stupid. I wish there was more to my life sometimes. Like had had actual things to do other then the go-to-school-come-back-home routine.

But it's not. I must be the most boring 18 year old on the planet. -_-

Saturday, March 27, 2010

General Papers

shouldn't be skipped.

Not even if you've only attended two classes ONE OF WHICH WAS A TEST.

The story behind that is very boring. But I'm going to tell it, for myself of course.

Se I've had language all year, and I've done fairly okay at it. Then our literature teacher tells us all the interesting stuff they do in general and I wish I have it/ But I can't/ Because you can only have either Language or General. General's really important though, specially in Pakistan. A lot of universities require it, and it comes in handy at interviews. So one day, I was told that language students could now take general too.And LUMS requires it too(further investigation showed it didn't). And since my general teach was my literature teach, all I had to do was fill out a form and give it to her. So I did. Only I didn't realize that there was only about a month left for the mocks and general classes were only once a week. That would mean I had roughly 4 classes, only as luck had it One Tuesday was the 23rd and the other the teach was absent. That left me with two classes, one of which was A TEST. So, not much learning there. though that one class on genetics, very interesting.

So, being the earnest student I am [^_^] was all for studying what I could from my brother' old book, and giving the mock but at the last hour realized it would be futile. So no mock-ing for me. =/

Isn't my life exciting? -_-

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


Revision is not that great.

I loved the drama and prose but we're doing poetry and try hard as i may, I just can not seem to connect with it.

I don't care about iambic pentameters and why they're used. I try. But I just don't. At all.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

a view from the bridge

arthur miller really makes sense.
who wrote a street car named desire again?

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Out of the ordinary. Yup. Not me.

***** is one of the coolest people ever. Not that i'll ever tell her that.

I love how she's funny, and kind and smart. How she has such a strong personality. How even after she'd been hounded, ranted and raved at about getting married and 'settling down' by most of the females in our family (my mother included, unfortunately) she hasn't budged from her decision to not lead the 'typical life'.

Instead she's going to some university in the US (she hasn't decided which one yet) on a full scholarship (that's right. My cousin is a Full-bright scholar).

She's her own person and she's fairly successful at it.

I want to be like that see. Out of the ordinary. SomeOne. SomeThing. I want to make a difference or be part of change.

One of the reasons I love Nixor so much is that I've gotten such great teachers and had the opportunity to learn so so much.

My law teacher, Ms. Abira is someone one I'd like to be like too. She's this socialist-lawyer-teacher person who's so very cool. She inspires me to be someone, to be a part of change, to stand up, and fight back against the system.

I want that. To inspire.

I don't know what I'll do in life. I'm hopping to stick with Law but do something before that. It was always pre-law before, and then I decided to go to LUMS and just do law but my teach says 19 year olds aren't ready to learn the law. That we should have a bachelors is something else to have greater experience, a wider scope. For that I was thinking journalism. But really, I. Don't. know.

And then all my planning scares me. What if I'm an 'epic fail'? A disappointment.
What then of my Dreams, Hopes and Aspirations?

I should go study.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Bomb Blasts and their Mundanity

Eight bomb blasts in Lahore yesterday. EIGHT.

We live in one destructive nation. I can't help but wonder is there a point to all of this? What do they want?
The wost part about this destruction is how mundane it's become. It happens every other week.

And for most people it really isn't a big deal anymore. It happened yesterday, it'll happen again tomorrow. We're so used to it happening that I don't think many of us care for more then a few minutes.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Bloody bloody history.

I knew today was going to be an awful awful day.

I could feel it in my bones -_-

The driver quit last night because he got told off for being late every single day.

Seriously? Seriously.

So I walked to school (Saudi Embassy to Shahbaz, that's a good 20 min walk people.).

Sure it's fun when it's raining and the weather's great but not so much when it's hot, humid and sunny out and your backpack weighs a ton.

I think I'd like a scooter.

A purple or Red one.

Like the one's girls in India have.

Time girls in Pakistan got them too.

But then again, girls on scooters are probably haram. :-/

And girls here (or the ones I know at least) would rather die then move around in anything but their big fancy cars.

Back To My Bad Day

So Literature wasn't anything special, and afterwards I tried to run to the library and get some Law done, but Sadia reminded me of how we had to call S.D, which I did.

Thrice. Only to get a;

"This number doesn't have an account. Talk to a 100 other people"

So I blew away 45 rupees on not getting through. :-|

Eventually I finally got to the library and did a bit of jury-ing and lots of magistrates-ing. Only I didn't freaking do any Sentencing.

I figured she'd be nice and give us an option. Three chapters, two questions.

If I did two chapters throughly(?) I'd be able to attempt one question. Unfortunately, there was only one question. Damn sentencing.

On the plus side I did the same for History, lots of Stalin, bit of Hitler, no Mussolini.

I spend all of last night studying bloody Russia with its bloody bloody history (pun intended :D) and its doesn't come. Good thing I did a little bit of Hitler, and revised it in Sociology.

There goes my A in law, all because I spent law-time doing history. :(