Tuesday, May 4, 2010

I hate...

- How I'm always obsessing about school.
- How I never do anything other then just obsess..like actually study.
- How I'm always trying to be what I think people want me to be.
- How I can't afford Holyoke.
- How I sometimes judge people.
- How I always disappoint.
- How I always seem to mess up.
- How I usually make the wrong friends.
- How when I do make the RIGHT friends, I'm never able to keep em. -_-
- How I piss people off.
- Because I do.
- How I never seem to achieve my goals.
- How I never pull through.
- How I have awful hair.
- Yes, that too.
- How I'm afraid.
- How I don't know who I am.
- How I can't decide on who I want to be.
- How there's a part of me who likes nice clothes, accessories, things with Prada and Gucci labels on them. But then there's the part whose against elitism.
- How there's a part of me who wants to make a difference. Stand up for what I believe in. Fight. But then I think it'd be easier to just give in. To get married have three kids, a nice house, a driver, a couple of maids and live The Pakistani Dream.
- How I don't think I'll be able to do this.
- Fight , I mean.
- How I feel so alone sometimes.
- How I wish somebody understood me.
- How Jaffar people labeled me a slut, because I didn't conform.
- Jaffar in general. ABHOR the place. :)
- How I wish I were a stronger person.
- How I feel helpless sometimes.
- How I have so much anger inside me.
- How unfair it is to live in a house where I'm denied of things my brother has.
- And I don't just mean freedom.
- How carelessly I spend money.
- How guilty I feel afterwards.
- How I sometimes am stupid enough to wish I were a part of One Tree Hill, or F.R.I.E.N.D.S or whatever.
- How I'm not more independent.
- How even though I love my parents, I just don't feel like we .. connect?
- How I'm stupid and immature.

I should see a shrink.

2 comments:

  1. I completely know how you feel, about the shrink part that is. I think of seeing one all the time.
    Hmm.
    As for you being a slut, well, that is something that you are most deff not.

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