Monday, April 26, 2010

Reason number 53462789

Why I love History, even though I'm failing.

I LEARN SO MUCH!!

Like today, when I entered class two of the kids in my class, S and Z were talking about a friend of their's who was getting engaged, and how another one had gotten married a while ago. They argued that it was all wrong to get girls married off at such a young age, especially into a family where (they felt) she didn't 'fit in'. She'd gone to their very 'liberal' school and had been forced(?)to marry a guy who's family observed complete hijab, didn't have telephones or televisions at their place and other somethingsomethings.

They, (rightly-I believe) were indignant that her parents hadn't cared enough to give her a proper -or complete- education before marrying her off. The Dr. however, disagreed. He felt that the parents were probably doing whatever they thought was the right thing to do, seeing as securing a 'safe' future for your kids is a parents first duty. And he felt that Women without male backing in The Islamic Republic of Pakistan, were very vulnerable.

In societies such as ours, where Money and Muscle rule the roost, mean no accountability for any action, there seems to be no place for equality. And even when you TRY to have women become economically independent and educated, it still won't work because they'll be working at a workplace in a society which does not only discourage economic independence in women, but basically frowns upon women being independent, in any way possible.


The average Pakistani male is a bastard of the first order -Dr. Farooq Sheikh

I couldn't agree more Sir, and if it were up to me I would, as you suggested, have any male who even attempts to molest a woman castrated. No questions asked.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

History blues.



I'm still failing History!

I don't get my teacher. I love having him as a teacher but I do not GET him.

Southshore mai they love their teacher, and he loves them. And believe me I know the lot of them are a whole lot worst then us. They all get As all the time, while the highest anyone in our sorry class manages to get is a high C.

I have recently developed an annoying fixation with As which I can not seem to rid myself of. I'm pretty much getting an A in everything BUT History. I'm getting a (probably) low C in History. And I need that A, if I want to get into Holyoke or Amherst or, keeping in mind my exceptional O level grades ANY university!

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

HE says I don't know how to write, well okay. Maybe I don't. But why don't the other teachers give me the same feedback? Why am I getting a relatively good grade in Literature, and why was I 1st (that's right, First!) in my language class, before 'those two' joined? My language class has some pretty good writers, and I was evidently, if not better, then at least as good as them.

Today I wrote this answer on Napoleon. I called him invincible, a social climber, said he was a 'hero' and called The Directory, a fiasco. All these are opinions, not facts. Very questionable (if they can be called that) opinions. If I had put more time or thought into the essay, rest assured I would have never made such assumptions, but I was tired and basically just not in the mood for History. And to be honest, I didn't really expect him to collect the assignments anyway.

HE MADE ME READ IT OUT LOUD.

Then asked if I'd written it myself. Apparently, he seemed to like it. And if he liked it, there was no way I'd written it myself1!

Forget the French Revolution, it's against my 'ideals' to cry for As. But really, my rallying cry isn't Liberté, égalité, fraternité.. It's.. Well.. I need a rallying cry.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

History blues.


I'm still failing History!

I don't get my teacher. I love having him as a teacher but I do not GET him.

Southshore mai they love there teacher, and he loves them. And believe me I know the lot of them are a whole lot worst then us. They all get As all the time, while the highest anyone in our sorry class manages to get is a high C.

I have recently developed an annoying fixation with As which I can not seem to rid myself of. I'm pretty much getting an A in everything BUT History. I'm getting a (probably) low C in History. And I need that A, if I want to get into Holyoke or Amherst or, keeping in mind my exceptional O level grades ANY university!

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

HE says I don't know how to write, well okay. Maybe I don't. But why don't the other teachers give me the same feedback? Why am I getting a relatively good grade in Literature, and why was I 1st (that's right, First!) in my language class, before 'those two' joined? My language class has some pretty good writers, and I was evidently, if not better, then at least as good as them.

Today I wrote this answer on Napoleon. I called him invincible, a social climber, said he was a 'hero' and called The Directory, a fiasco. All these are opinions, not facts. Very questionable (if they can be called that) opinions. If I had put more time or thought into the essay, rest assured I would have never made such assumptions, but I was tired and basically just not in the mood for History. And to be honest, I didn't really expect him to collect the assignments anyway.

HE MADE ME READ IT OUT LOUD.

Then asked if I'd written it myself. Apparently, he seemed to like it. And if he liked it, there was no way I'd written it myself1!

Forget the French Revolution, it's against my 'ideals' to cry for As. But really, my rallying cry isn't Liberté, égalité, fraternité.. It's.. Well.. I need a rallying cry.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I love that show. I really do. It's hilarious, and it never gets old. And it's all I watch these days. I need a life. And Friends I can dance in a fountain with. Got one, need five more. That's my favorite part. It seems like they're having so much fun. I'd like to have THAT much fun. My life is so monotonous and .. boring?

I. NEED. CHANGE.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Need to feel appreciated?

I do.

I really really do. Since our maid has been on a vacation it seems like I'm doing all the work around our place. I wash the dishes. I make my bed. I wash the clothes. I water the plants. I iron the clothes. I help make the food. And I try to fit in as much revision as possible in what little time I have left - okay, no I don't. I watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S -

This may not seem like everyday stuff to those who don't have maid's (everybody outside of Pakistan, that is), but to people who're used to having it done for them every day IT IS A BIG DEAL.

And hard work.

I must sound SO self-centered.

But I do A LOT of work. A LOT. And nobody appreciates it! They just keep piling it on My brother doesn't have to do anything since he's a BOY and apparently my sister's too young. -_- That leaves me.

Maqsooda, I have never missed you so much. You do so much for us. Thank you.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Shit happens.

So today I'm going to share with my (non-existent) readers something that happened some time ago, which only my best friend knows about.

A few days after my birthday in August, I was home, alone. My brother was about to leave and I'd gotten a text from my best friend who was going to go apply to A level schools. She asked if I was free and if I could come along. I of course, gladly agreed. And since my brother was about to leave I hurried and changed and and left the house. Only I left it unlocked.

So after a while (on our way back from Southshore) I get this call from my dad. Who asks where I am, and when if when I was at home had I noticed anyone coming in? Or did I see if my mom's closet door was open? I hadn't.

So then my dad 'dropped' the bomb. Telling me how when my mom had come home all her
jewelery was missing. ALL of it. Being the looser that I am, I stared Crying. And Shakeel asked if I was okay, and needed to go home. I decided I didn't want to go home.

Eventually I did get home. Now they were three people at my place when this happened. The maid, who'd been working at our place for like 5 years, and the other guy, who's been at our place for like the last 15 years. So we really don't know who did it.

My dad has been all for it's the maid, and she has no husband and 5 kids and she needed the money. So she was 'forced by the circumstances' to do it. My dad wanted her arrested, my mom didn't let him. "Going all, if it's not her then it'll be morally wrong to put her through that and stuff"

Anyway, it was all 'down under' for a while, until last week. Her daughters got married. And apparently people came and told my dad about how her daughters' marriages were 'grand' and the thing has blown up again. My dad now has no doubt it was her, who used the money for her daughters' 'grand' marriages. So he plans to have her arrested as soon as she come back from her 'vacation'. Jabkay my mom still insists it wasn't her.

Which leads us to the question; who was it?

We don't know.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Bitches and then some.

I was in a pretty bad mood all day today, thanks to my awful history exam.

Also another thing happened today. It finally left us the fuck alone. Well not us so much as just my best friend. I can't fool myself into believing I have a stalker anymore. :( But, FINALLY. It's been almost an year now, about time you got a life.

Who is 'it', you wonder. It was apparently a friend of mine who loved to bitch about me, to other people. I hate people who pretend to like you, but really hate you. I mean seriously? I don't care if you don't like me you fathairycrookedtoothedslut! But say it to my face! And if it was only me, maybe I'd have admitted that I had the problem, that I really was the annoying-unlikable-whore she made me out to be, but it WASN'T just me. She did that about every fucking body.

"Oh R do you know about J he's such a douche bag he's always saying blahblahblah about you, listen A, you know S? She's always saying shit about you to me. Omg N, did you know Z has slept with D? She's such a slut. Yeah I know because K told me."

Yeah bitch, everybody comes to you to bitch about others. I get it, I pissed you off with my sluty-ness one day, the next day I refused to tell you what I was talking about with the guy-you-think-is-your-best-friend, and the third I refused to share my food with you. But every fucking day?

I'll admit it, I'm not exactly a wonderful person. In fact, I have many faults. I diss people too, I make fun of others at times, But I'm not mean. And I don't do things to purposely hurt somebody's feelings. And If I've ever done that, then here's a public apology. I'm sorry.

Friday, April 9, 2010

IHateSociology

It's official. I hate sociology. The syllabus is not finishing, I found out we didn't even DO a chapter that comes in the exam because apparently there's an option, therefore OUR TEACHER FIGURED WE DON'T HAVE TO DO IT.

Ugh. If socio ruins my grade.. I'll drop it! -.-

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Stupid viruses

Won't leave me alone. The stupid Security Tool keeps getting installed 'without my knowledge or permission' I need to get rid of this, and fast. Or I'll have to face the Ami-Attack again. Not. Pleasant.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

That time of the month again.

No, not that.

It's test week again. Or exam week? Either way, Not. Cool.

The cramming begins again. Doesn't this totally defeat the purpose of education?

I like As. They're pretty, and shiny and make me feel good about myself. They represent the stars we got as kids, of which we were so proud.

Need an ego boost? Get a few As. They'll do the trick. A best friend helps too, but As do it better then anything else. I need an A. Or a few, actually. In history, literature and law.

I've gotten an A average throughout the year in Law, but I feel ZERO prepared for tomorrow's mock. Am I going to fail it? Possibly. Will that disappoint me? Immensely.

I've always been pretty okay at Literature, and would totally have gotten an A if I had put more effort into revision instead of playing.. dare I say it.. farmville. But History mai tu Allah Hafiz hai mera. Literally.

I wish my happiness didn't depend on those As. Not getting them makes me feel like a failure. Back at my old school I didn't care a 'rat's ass' about As, I felt lucky if I barely passed. And believe me, even that was rare.

So when did I change? When did I start caring about my grades? Not just wanting to pass, or be an average C kid, but instead be an 'intellectual bad ass' A kid?

Maybe when I realized my dreams of getting into LUMS, Amherst or Holyoke and 'discovering all that I am, and how I want to change the world' would never be fulfilled if I stayed my lazy ass self.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Friday, April 2, 2010

Okay, I don't.

But I try.

That's gotta count for something, right?

Thursday, April 1, 2010

I do study.