Saturday, October 22, 2011

I haven't been this happy, since before the whole FC thing blew up. Maybe this is what it means to move on? Five years today, really is the end of an era. But this feels good, this feels right, this is how it should be. I just hope the feeling sticks around.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

I changed my url, and blog name, and other stuff because it was time. Also people (one person actually, from Mississippi. I'm on to you) finding my blog by searching for 'this blog doesn't have name', every other day was kinnnnnda creepy. Also, you know, since I'm me, exciting since I've always wanted a stalker.

But whatever, lux in tenebris means light in darkness in Latin, which is what I'm looking for these days. A bitta light. And because I like to be pretentious.

Also, because I changed my url I don't think those who're already 'following' me will get any updates. You'll have to un-follow and re-follow. But hey, this way I'll learn how many of you actually bothered to read my crap.

K bai now.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

I now know him as the guy who comes to smoke hash on my roof because he feels it's safer here then it is at his place. Less chances of getting caught see.

But he used to be my best friend, years and years ago, before I moved back here, officially. We used to run off and get french fries together, and play hide and seek, and sit on his grandfather's roof and make plans, lots and lots of plans. He used to stick up for me when the other kids made fun of me for wearing shorts, and he used to promise, at the end of every summer that he'd come visit me in America.

I wonder if he remembers that. When I wake up at two am to let him and my brother in, so the parents don't wake up, he lowers his eyes as he walks by, and I always wonder why. Doesn't he want to be friends anymore? Doesn't he want to make more plans? Doesn't he realize that it could be like that again?

But then again, it probably couldn't. It'd never be the same, the wild abandon we once had could never be achieved again. And that's okay. I think. Sometimes maybe, it's just better to let memories be memories.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Hearts in Atlantis taught me that hearts don't break, they only bend. I hope King knew what he was talking about, because right now, it feels as if my heart's broken. Beyond repair. And I suppose I'd feel better knowing it's not, broken that is, it's only bending. And it'll remain bent for as long as I'll stay here.

But it's only bending, not breaking. Not yet anyway.

Friday, September 2, 2011


Okay, so you know I suck at this, 'sentimental stuff'', but I LUFF U ND DIZ IZ 4 U K.

Thanks, for just always being there, listening to me whine and moan about stupid things, thanks for keeping my secrets and being the one person I can go to, to talk about everything and anything, thanks for calling me every single day without fail -for the most part :| -, thanks for the best vacation ever, Winter '10. Thanks for understanding me, and the fucking seriously looks/emoticons, that help me realise what an idiot I'm being, for being honest when it'd be easier to just agree, thanks for HAVING your own opinion ;), can I help it if mine is exactly the same? Thanks for trying to have intelectualz convoz about Chomsky's work with me, it's k, you're all about chicklit, but I still luff you, thanks for the 'but man, you can do so much better's, I can't, but knowing there are people who think so still helps, thanks for insisting they messed up checking my AS Literature exam, instead of telling me I messed up that exam in itself, which is probably what I did. Thanks for laughing at things-certain-people-say/do with me, thanks for helping me not feel like a failure, just thanks, for being such an important part of my life.

You have no idea how fucking upset I was when I found out you'd be moving last year, but it's okay, now, school might have sucked, but we'll be in the same city for university at least, for now anyway. Can't wait to see you again. <3

Happy Nineteenth Bebz, I luff u 5evr AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEEANSSSSS.

P.S I KNOW, that one day we'll go to the Harry Potter theme park and then go on a road trip to Salzburg. Cuz, you know, me = cool enough to have city named after me.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Today has been Okay.

In fact, this month has been pretty okay. The result was okay, I'll be going away for university, not as far away as I would have originally liked, but Lahore's okay. It's actually more than okay.

And tonight has been more than fine, thanks to CLG. Here's to a great year, or as my university-of-choice has promised, The Best Four Years of Your Life.

Saturday, July 16, 2011


A summary.

LOL I'm sorry, I can't take this OMGTHISISTHEEND. It's not. Shut up. If it was really going to end it'd have ended in July 2007. True fans don't like the movies, K? The movies are stupid.

Now you know what'll happen and don't need to watch the movie. YOU'REWELCOME.

BUT even though the movies arenowherenearasgoodasthebooksandanycomparisonwhatsoeverisjustwrong, Oliver Boyd and the Rememberalls are (is? It's just one guy) amazing and this, this, had me going :'c

And Harry Freakin' Potter, AVPS. Cuz you know, StarKidPotter is awesome?

We don't prefer Gandalf, Merlin, or Oz, you're a whole lot hotter, with that lightning scar you're a superstar!

Friday, July 8, 2011

Hormonal Post. Pliss don't judge.

It's already five-thirty, I could've sworn it was two just like 10 mins ago. Though, obviously it wasn't..

Anyway, this one is for this guy/girl:

Where are you these days ? You haven't updated your blog from quite a time. 6 days ago


Lol okay I'm going to update. With absolute crap, as usual.

A) (...)

CLG thinks I don't know him well enough to be in 'love' with him, she's right actually. I don't. So this probably isn't love, and I'm going to regret using this as a reason, later. Not now, now well, I'm good for now.

B) This blog was supposed to be anonymous, it's not, anymore, it sucks but it's my fault.

C) I used to think I was this amazing angrazi-writing-hero. Lang105 was my favorite class last year. Not only because I was numba 1 (have a transcript to prove it and everything :D), but because I was really good at that class without ever trying. I was looking thorough my Language tests and Mocks and stuff from last year and there's this comment, Ms. Manji wrote on one of my papers, 'Brilliant Saleeha!!! You are a born writer!' and I really can not tell you how much that meant to me, at the time.

I don't write-write anymore though, I don't know why. My As Literature grade maybe? I dropped language at the beginning of A2 too, because I just didn't want to deal anymore.

You know how they say grades don't matter? They lie. Lielielielielie. I can assure you, they do. Last year when I was getting As in all my classes (except history, but the teach still thought I was an okay kid, and everyone else was doing pretty badly too, so it didn't really matter) I was happy and confident, because I knew I was good enough to compete with these other kids. This year I wasn't as good as them, last year I had six subjects, but I managed and enjoyed them, for the most part. This year I could hardly cope with the bare minimum, three. I let the fact that I wasn't as 'good' as the others get to me, and whatever, it's not like it matters anymore, but I wish I hadn't.


By Oct 2011 every Nixor student will have their own debit card. I really do not know what to say.

E) I really like Imogen Heap.

F) My brother's friend is sleeping over at our place tonight. His room doesn't have an air conditioner so Omer's sleeping with my Dad in Faiza's room, His poor friend is in his (probably very hot) room, Faiza is watching Gilmore Girls in the rec room, and my Mum and Nano are both in my parent's room. Isn't this lovely?

G) I hate it when people recognize my brother from his shows. They'll be all OMGYOU'RETHATGUY, and I'll be all calm down pre-teen girl, it's a fazool show for idiots.

Haha I remember he used to have this person who wanted to 'talk' to him all the time named Sauleha and all our relatives thought Sauleha was ME and told me to stop calling him so often, lol yeah, it wasn't cool.


Oh btw, new header. Like/dislike? It doesn't seem

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Mr. Pinter you see, knows where you live.

I can not wait for 11 am tomorrow.

Never again will I torture my eyes with Red Notes.

Friday, June 3, 2011

I hate it when I should be studying, but am wasting my time doing nothing. Like now.


Also Tort Law, but, you know? It's Law, I'll ace that shit. (HOPEFULLY)


Sunday, May 29, 2011


I just spent half an hour painting my nails a revolting shade of pink.

I think we can all guess how I'm going to do tomorrow.

Thursday, May 19, 2011


A man said to the universe:
"Sir, I exist!"
"However," replied the universe,
"The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation."

-Stephen Crane

Monday, May 9, 2011


So I haven't posted anything really substantial in a while, because well... I have nothing to say/write? It's May man, shit everyone knows what's going on, EXAMS. I had a lot of posts up last year complaining about the exams, but this year I'm all blah. I literally don't give a shit. That may have something to do with the fact that I aced my mocks(The A2 ones, OKAY, the As ones were blah)with like minimal studying. I studied a couple hours before the exams and what do I get? As man that's what I get. SO I WIN? Of course this doesn't include Literature. That's another story. Lets not talk about that.

So I'm sleeping all day, and staying up all night watching movies, reading Harry Potter Fan-fiction and just generally.. chilling? Yeah, unfortunately. I'll buck up. I promised myself that I'd start studying by the first of May, and now that that has passed, it's 'at least a week before the exams start'. Doesn't seem like it'll happen BUT IT WILL OKAY. Hopefully.

It's just that I CAN'T STUDY, I open the books but there's always something else to do. Something more interesting, obviously. I try, okay. Plus with the university scenez turning out to be #epicfails, I can't help but think, 'Wass da point?'. (....)

And if there's one thing I definitely don't want to be, it's mediocre. I told this friend I was seriously considering a gap year, to figure things out a bit, get everything in order, that kinda stuff and he was all for it, saying it would help me 'evolve as a person'. So, umm yes? God it's all so confusing.

One of my favorite movies of all times is An Education, and there's this line Jenny has, where she says if she goes to university she's going to read what she wants, and listen to what she wants and, most importantly, talk to people who know lots about lots, ME TOO OKAY. I'm going to study women's studies and literature and political sciences and medieval studies and even art history. ALL OF IT. And while doing it I'll interact with people who know lots about lots. I love people who know lots about lots. But god does it have to be THIS hard?

Yeah, so suck it up.

ANYWAY, moving on to brighter more interesting things, my best friend ChickLitGirl is having a GIVEAWAYYYYYYYY

Okay so if you click here and fill out the form and stuff you COULD WIN SOME GREAT PRIZES. Specially the great tea with the Silver Candy Balls and Red Candy Hearts. *British accent* It's not very hard, c'mon do it. Please.

If you entered then this is for you

..and if you didn't. Well. Here. I'll leave you with Friday. BUT IT'S THE GLEE VERSION SO IT'S AWESOME SO CHECK IT OUT AND LOVE OKAY? K. :)

Sunday, May 1, 2011


It's okay to have bathroom pictures sometimes, right?

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Just because.


I knew this day was gonna come. And it's not even actually here you know. It's just people going "OMG AAA OFFER ACCEPTED" they're not actually going off to university yet. That'll be in September. I'll die then.

The only university that's even bothered going "YOU WANT MONIEZ? HERE'S SOME", is Carlton, yeah the independent non-sectarian, coeducational, liberal arts college in Northfield, Minnesota. And I'd attend, mera kya jaraha hai man shizz, but their financial aid package? Yeah, it's not adequate. I mean it's nice of them to offer me the twenty grand and everything, but I kindda need twenty more to attend?

University of Hawaii? Hawaii Community College? Hawaii Pacific University?

Oh, did I mention I'm moving to Hawaii? Soon? Hopefully? ^_^ <--- HAPPIEH FAZE

I'd still like to properly get into a university though :(


Also, I'm in love with a man who's in love with another (wo)man.

Monday, April 11, 2011


I have two literature mocks tomorrow. P5 and P3. That's Shakespeare and Donne AND Hardy and a bunch of short stories. So far, I've only just finished Hamlet.

I just can't study, I keep reading my texts and notes but I'm not absorbing/understanding anything. I asked my dad to get me some Ritalin, cuz shizz man what's the point of having a physician in the family if he can't even score some prescription drugs once in a while. He refused. Said there's actually none available, in the 'market' but even if there were, he wouldn't get me any.

So umm? :(

Monday, March 14, 2011

I Crey Alwaz...XXX

I haven't LOLed this much in the longest time.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Gotta get used to the pain.

I have always taken pride in the fact that I can eat anything I want, and as much of it as I want and never gain a pound. I've seen friends around me going to The Gym, and Aerobic classes and dieting and going 'I'M SO FAT I'M SO FAT' every few hours while I listen to them complain and stuff my face with more french fries.

Fact: My 6th grade uniform still fit me 3 months ago when I finally decided to get rid of it.

Only that has now changed. I can no longer fit into the uniform that fit fine at the beginning of this year. That is @##@$%$#%$#%%$$$@Q!#E@!E$. And sad. Very very sad. Now I'm very against women being defined according to their physical appearance and all that bullshit and hypocritical as this may seem, IDONWANNABEFAT:(

I just don't want to be outta shape, ya know? So I made this pact that I would get up early every day and jog for 15 minutes before getting ready for school. Yesterday I lasted for less than 5. I am not kidding when I say my lungs were on fire. I didn't give up though. Today it was 5 minutes and 44 seconds. One whole song. After that I felt I'd collapse and had to go back downstairs and soak my aching body in warm, bubbly, watermelon smelling water. I love watermelons. And to add insult to the injury, while I was lamenting about how sore I was all over, to a friend, another friend comes up and goes "It's trueeeeee. Yesterday I saw pictures of you from our play rehearsals in eleventh grade and you were sssooo (she actually talks like that) thinnnnnnnnn".


Not. Cool.

Of course , my friend being cool smacked her.

Whatever. My goal is to now be able to fit into my uniform before the school year ends. That's the 10th of July.

ANYWAY, I'm giving away this book

Making life choices and determining one's own destiny is the focus of this romantic novel for teenage girls. As the reader moves through the book, she is presented with questions and choices for what she could decide to do next. After making a selection, the reader is directed to a particular page in the book to continue the story. If the reader reaches a displeasing ending, she is free to go back and make another choice. The book has at least ten different endings ...

Okay I did not particularly enjoy this book. Which is why I'm giving it away, really. And because I love bloggers who have giveaways, and expect that you do too, and I want you all to love me. I'm very needy. :( LOLZ

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy P. G. Wodehouse/ Jules Vallès Death Anniversary!!

On the 14th of Feb, 1920 The League of Women Voters was founded in Chicago, Illinois.

I love women who find leagues of sorts. :)

Sunday, February 13, 2011

So, what'd you do today?

Gave the LCAT? Hmmm? Eveyone's giving it. XCPT M3. THAT MAKES ME :D
Cuz I can't do math. Not at all. Partly the reason why I didn't givee the SATs either. But if you're one of the 19,580 who gave it today, good luck to you.


Now I just need time to read them. :(

Here's something that DIDN'T make very happy.

'The Urdu word for 'woman' is 'aurat'. This is derived from the Arabic word 'awrah', that can mean 'genitalia, weakness, deficiency, imperfection'. No wonder a woman is required to be covered at all times.'
-When being a woman is a crime, Irfan Hussain


Wednesday, February 9, 2011


I finally fixed my template. No more repeats now. :D I had to change the whole template and delete something in that and do other very uninteresting stuff, and had to choose a temporary template and this is it. It'll be changed as soon as I have time. Which won't be anytime soon, with the way things are going. =/

I'm starting to hate literature. I kinda skipped this test I had today. I know I shouldn't have, and my teach isn't going to be happy about it but I had to. I didn't know shit, and not giving it is better than failing in it?

I think I want a gap year. I told my mom and she was pretty 'whatever-you-want' about it. Which is quite uncharacteristic, considering how she more or less hit the roof when my brother said it was what he wanted. He didn't get it.

I got a reply from AI. They're like ZOMGYOU'RESOAWESOMEYESPLEASEWORKFORUS. So that's it then? 6 months in England 'bondin wit ma mamo'.

Or not.. I know I said it was what I wanted , and I did, I DO want it. I just want to go to university more.

I don't know.


In Other News, I finally finished Sophie's World. All I have to say about it is, there's a reason that book sold over 30 million copies. Annddd I'm currently rereading Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets. I love it. Absolutely LOVE it. It's funny to read it all and remember all the parts I found hilarious over ten years ago, parts I used to read out loud to my mom expecting her to el oh el with me (she never did :c ), parts that still evoke more or less the same emotions they did back then. It's just funny. And sad, in a nice way.

Sunday, January 30, 2011


That's what I do when I skip school. LOL JK, I don't have any classes Friday. But gotta put the getting up at 8 am to attend a mandatory assembly about stuff-that-I really-couldn't-care-less-about, to good use.

So here's to great friends, breakfast at boat basin, and living in The City By The Sea.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

I am in misery.

Yes, those are song lyrics. They also mirror exactly what I feel these days. I'm desperate and confused, though not for the same reasons Maroon 5 was.

And here's something you all should read.

Also, I love my History teacher. He's possibly the coolest above-60-year-old-guy(?) person I've ever met.


I miss Chicago so so SO much, it's just not funny anymore. Not that it was ever very funny, but you know? I miss walking home from school and snow and living next to a K-mart, and 7-11 Slurpees and the best friend that I have added on Facebook but am too fucking scared to talk to because she's a model for Hollister and goes to UIC, and seems to have everything so together, while I have absolutely NO idea where I'll be this time next year.

I keep getting these letters from universities and my Dad gets all excited, asking me what they're saying and I hate shrugging and mumbling something more or less incoherent and changing the subject, because they're NOT acceptances(Nor are they rejections JUST SO YOU KNOW, they're just 'Hey man, we haven't taken a decision on your application yet, but look at this, look what we got! Like it? Eh? Eh? LIKE IT?' IT'S LOVELY BITCHES, NOW HOW ABOUT AN OFFER?).

I hate when people go EF EM EL, EF EM EL, over choti choti batein but abhi, FML seems about right.

Also, I just noticed how my posts repeat at the end, anyone know how I can fix that?

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Who cares if you disagree? You are not me. Who died and made you king of anything?

^ That fellow followers, is my brother's current favorite song. Which means, these days, whenever I'm in his car I have the interminable pleasure of hearing it again and again and again and, well, interminably.

I'm not complaining really, I'd much rather listen to songs about delusional sunsets than ones about people catching grenades and taking bullets straight through their brains. I hate it when I give people all I have and they throw it in the trash too, but really Bruno?

Because I always have a hard time deciding on what to 'title' my posts, abh say they'll just be song lyrics. It'll be my way of making up for the lack of Facebook albums I have, titled 'We hit the flo and shawty got low x 468743432056'.

I realize and am immensely saddened by the fact that I shall probably never have posts titled 'Cause baby tonight, the DJ got us falling in love again', 'Lets go all the way tonight, no regrets, just love' and 'I'm a dance floor lover'. But hey, maybe
a post titled 'Tonight's going to be a good night' won't be all that bad. No? Okay.

Also this, it made me laf. Laf and laf and laf. And laf. I'm petty like that. :(

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

I gotta pocket, gotta pocketful of sunshine.

I'm back from my escapades and unfortunately (or fortunately, depends on how you look at it really) don't look like this. I meant the blue hair, really.

See the 'A' and think The Scarlett Letter? Don't. Think Easy A. It's for Awesome. THANKS AMNA, APPRECIATE IT.

From today we shall learn how men think they're the boss because they objectify women, HOWEVER it's women who WANT to be objectified in order to control men, so basically we want to be objectified, you objectify and... we win?

Yup. Also, I love Lahore. I love how clean it is, how green it is, and most of all how they have amazing bookstores that are actually filled with people. PEOPLE LIKE TO READ IN LAHORE. How A is that? But what's with all the red brick houses? LUMS was eh, so glad that's not going to be my abode for the next four years.